Pelvic pain

Dear readers,

Well, guys it seems I’ve gone backwards, last night I was in so much pain that I had to take two diazepam which did fuck all. This morning I woke up and struggled to get the sling under to get out of bed and I haven’t gotten dressed either.

I rang the doctors again and she came out and prescribed me morphine four times a day as well as an urgent referral to a pelvic specialist. She thinks I may have arthritis or bone on bone or even hip displacement.

I can only describe it as being pulled like a wishbone.

Yes I’m feeling sorry for myself okay? You don’t need to tell me that. I’m so frustrated, I worked my arse off reducing my painkillers and hearing that I have to use them again is a kick in the balls.

Hopefully something comes up and it’s able to be fixed, it’s just a waiting game now.

Huge thank you to my carer Emma who’s been so kind today. Thank you to you for reading this, I’m not looking for sympathy, just support.


Rach x

Pain episode

I feel like someone is pulling my pelvis apart like a turkey’s wish bone.

Last night I had to take a diazepam and I felt so guilty because I’m trying not to use painkillers but, their comes a time when it’s too much. I was supposed to go down another 75mg of pregablin but, it’ll have to wait until this pain episode passes.

Today I’m distracting myself by working on my fangirl instagram @small_town_fangirl_ which supports Zac Efron, Demi Lovato and, the Travolta’s – so go and check that out if you want. Don’t forget to follow my @rachdiaries Instagram and Twitter @the_r_diaries for all things disability related.

Here’s some tips on how I deal with a pain flare:

  1. Do my physio
  2. Use a hot water bottle/ heated blanket
  3. Painkillers as a last resort
  4. Sleep
  5. Distraction e.g: reading (currently reading The secret we’re keeping) If you like romance read my FREE novella, Carefree and Consequence.
  6. Blogging my frustrations/tweeting and talking with other sufferers.
  7. Lots of tea and cake
  8. A warm bath
  9. Not moving
  10. Scream/cry/ punch something

I hope I’m okay for dance on Thursday because I need to work on my solo to Demi Lovato’s Skyscraper and we need to work on our group piece. Cripple club is so much fun!

Ugh. I hate pain days. Luckily, I’m with a new care company and they are so much better than the last lot, so much more positive and competent. Can you believe my last care company would make me sleep on a hard sling in bed?! As well as rushing me on the toilet, walking into my house using the key safe when we cancelled calls, even leaving the front door open (the dogs escaped!) and even scalding my ankles with a hot water bottle! Thank god I’m finally rid of them!

Even if i just go for a walk for an hour today then that’s fine by me. I know my limits.

Rant over. I love how blogging is so cathartic 😉

Hope these tips help!

Love Rach x


A Royal Wedding

Dear readers,

Today has been very exciting in the Robb household, I’ve waited months for this wedding.

I’ve been up since 6am this morning watching the news coverage! By five to nine I was in my best lemon tea dress complete with pearls and a yellow flower in my hair for the occasion, eyes glued to the BBC as I sipped my morning cuppa (it was too early for pimms). I didn’t leave my armchair once.

I squealed when the Beckham’s arrived and swooned over Idris Elba as the chapel doors opened, all the while thinking; what’s Meghan wearing? Is Harry having Dutch courage? Will Kate recycle yet another outfit?

I did get a bit teary when I saw Harry and Wills, wishing that Diana could have been there.

She looked simply stunning, reminding me of Audrey Hepburn’s wedding gown in Funny Face.

Lunch for me was a cheese and onion sandwich and a slice of Victoria sponge and can of Pimms – the food gone before they’d said ‘I do’!

Again, it was lovely to see Charles walk with Meghan and offer his arm to her mother as they signed the register – it was lovely to see her being truly welcomed into the fold as the Windsor’s stood on the steps. Wasn’t Charlotte adorable? (I had to laugh when Zara Tindle looked bored to tears, not to mention princess Anne being compared to Hugh Hefner and Beatrice and Eugenie’s Pan Am and Hippy dress up!)

As an atheist I found the religious bits dull but couldn’t help admiring the bishop’s passion as he gave his sermon on love. The choir was lovely too.

Today we witnessed history; a feisty feminist and biracial woman being welcomed into the bluest of bloodied families, a sign the monarchy is always changing. Something tells me that Meghan won’t be the shy and retiring type…. perfect for the wild Prince Harry!

I wish them love and happiness. Now all we need is a disabled gay princess and I’ll be happy.

Books with a disability theme/ character

  • House rules by Jodi Picoult
  • Handle with care by Jodi Picoult
  • Dear John by Nicholas Sparks
  • Amy and Matthew by Cammie McGovern
  • Skallagrigg by William Horwood
  • What the **** is normal? By Francesca Martinez
  • Standing up for James by Jane Raca


Catheter Tips

  • Drink plenty of water and avoid caffeinated drinks and citrus juice.
  • Tight clothes can restrict your flow so I suggest elasticated waistbands.
  • In case of bypassing put absorbent pads under your bedsheets and on top.
  • Try to have regular bowel movements.
  • Change your bag as little as you can, this minimises infection.
  • So that you don’t lose bladder muscle use a flip flow.
  • Clean your wound regularly
  • Twist your catheter regularly so that it doesn’t stick to your bladder wall and makes changes less painful
  • Do weekly flushes so that sediment doesn’t block your pipe.
  • Don’t led your bag get too full and pull because you can rip your wound and bleed.
  • Change your statlock regularly and alternate between each leg so the skin doesn’t deteriorate.
  • Periods can irritate your bladder – leading to bypassing.
  • Did you know that herbal tea can irritate your bladder.
  • Have patience
  • If you feel self conscious as to wether you smell of ammonia I suggest carrying a body spray.

I hope these help! Being catheterised is far from easy. A catheter should last twelve weeks but mine only lasts five.


Being bisexual and disabled

I’ve known since I was thirteen that I was bisexual but I wasn’t quite ready to embrace it yet and with rumours floating around school it made things harder. I felt a pressure to be over the top about my boy crushes and couldn’t really talk about my girl ones because it made some people uncomfortable. As you can imagine it made dating difficult and didn’t end up having my first relationship until I was eighteen.

People assume that because I’m disabled that I don’t have sexual desires but I do. Add to that being gay it just made me seem even more different and unrelateable. People assume that I want them to be my Carer, to fetch and carry but that’s not true I just want someone other than my family to see me as a person and not a wheelchair or gay. Just Rachel.

In 2015 I officially came out and it’s great. I’ve found a community that accepts my differences (you’d be surprised at how many women are disabled and bisexual!) yes, it does mean that my dating experiences are unique but aren’t everybody’s?

Currently I am single and am searching for love but why when I mention that I’m disabled does the trail go cold? I’m just like everyone else inside. If society can be more accepting of the LGBTQ community in regards to dating, why can’t they accept that people with disabilities want fulfilling relationships?

I’m proud of being bisexual and disabled and I wouldn’t be lying if I said I didn’t encounter bullying because I did.

I just hope that if you’re reading this post that you take away the fact that just because somebody is different doesn’t mean they don’t feel and want the same things as you.

To thirteen year old me? Chin up honey you’ll be okay and stronger with what you go through. Everybody deserves love.

Bisexual, Sexuality, Flag, Love

How I beat IBS

What is IBS?

It’s an a condition where eating certain food or having stress can put a strain on the digestive system. People may suffer with constipation or loose bowels as well as trapped wind and the feeling of constantly needing a wee.

How do I know it’s IBS?

You do so by keeping a food diary and noticing your triggers and consulting your doctor who may prescribe Buscopan: IBS relief.

What are the symptoms?

The main symptoms of IBS are:

• stomach pain or cramps – usually worse after eating and better after doing a poo

• bloating – your tummy may feel uncomfortably full and swollen

• diarrhoea – you may have watery poo and sometimes need to poo suddenly

• constipation – you may strain when pooing and feel like you can’t empty your bowels fully

There may be days when your symptoms are better and days when they’re worse (flare-ups). They may be triggered by food or drink. (Taken from

In 2012 I was having the worst summer holidays of my life. Every time I ate something I was either throwing up or constipated and this was happening everyday. I had no idea what was going on. Then it was after I came home from a holiday abroad that I was diagnosed with IBS. I let it rule my life for two years…

My mood was low, I had constant cystitis and I was struggling to cope until a doctor recommended taking a probiotic. Well, I was amazed! Within two days my symptoms had eased. It was strange to be able to eat and not dread the next day.

Fast forward to today and I don’t even have to drink the probiotic anymore! Just lots of water and fibre. Occasionally it flares up but isn’t half as debilitating as it used to be.

If you suffer with IBS I so recommend drinking actimel! It’s lovely to be able to be adventurous with food.


Belly, Heart, Intestine, Hands, Love, Blossom, Bloom