Last week I went and saw the pain management team to see what my options are regarding my chronic pain. Safe to say it didn’t go well.
Firstly she reckons I was fine in my baclofen trial three years ago and can’t remember myself being violent, angry and having dark thoughts.
She then went through all my pain medication and basically pill shamed me and thought I was taking all these meds just for fun. She wanted me to try to come off the majority of my medications as they aren’t effective enough. I explained that the previous summer before I was diagnosed with fasset arthritis that I had done this and the pain came back ten times worse. She then used the magic wand analogy that I hate so much and said I needed to decide to be better.
I argued with her until tears were￼streaming down my face saying that I did want to get better and that how can you possibly try and get a better understanding of my life and the pains effect in a twenty minute appointment.
She reckons that I haven’t accepted my diagnosis despite tackling it head on in the past couple of years. She just couldn’t see how much it was affecting me and wouldn’t listen despite my pleas and Mel’s input.
She couldn’t even listen when I said I don’t use oramorph daily.
So all I can do right now is wait until my name comes forward on the waiting list for CBT (which I must book tomorrow) and see if those pelvic injections that my spinal consultant referred me for (but That was back in August so I probably won’t get there until May/June if NHS waiting lists are anything to go by)
What she failed to realise that I’m trying my best to manage it. She made feel so small like my opinion didn’t matter. She didn’t seem to take me seriously.
Myself and my family have discussed that coming off my medication isn’t the best idea for me and that I’ll try the CBT and just plod on and deal with the interfering flare ups as best I can and hope I can manage things a bit better.
Sometimes we have to go against the professionals to do what we know is right for us. She cannot say that we haven’t tried every option.