Confession:

I haven’t been myself lately and it’s great that I’ve recognised that. I have been struggling mentally as well as physically. Especially as it’s coming up to my 21st birthday I don’t think I’m ready for the next part of my life. I feel lost I don’t know what my next steps are and I’m just helping my guardian angel of the guides me and helps me find out what my purpose is. I think I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself especially with launching a book and my own lifestyle brand I forgot to look after myself.

Am I an author? Am I blogger? Am I disable activist? I kind of don’t know who I am right now and I’m going to use this next year to find out who I am.

Depression isn’t easy and it doesn’t go away with one pill.. something you have to live with and control. It’s like me annoying an flatmate do you have to live with!

My Nan just said it’s the change of seasons. I may change my antidepressants or I may seek some counselling or it may just be a rough patch but I can’t get through like I’ve done 100 times before.

I know one thing; I’ll get through this and I’ll make people say that when I get up in the morning fuck she’s awake.

The social worker is coming out Monday (The day before my birthday) To discuss my parents having night respite so they go on dates and the housing situation. Perhaps I’ll have to start looking in the Swansea or Cardiff area. All I want is a residential place full of young people that let you do your own thing but, also learn from life skills because I’m not learning much sitting in my armchair typing away to you guys.

I hope some positives come from this meeting and that we get the ball rolling on my independence and breaking away from my mum and dad to make my own life.

I cannot wait until my new wheelchair arrived in my fantasy it arrives on my birthday! That way then I can go out, I can be comfortable and be perfectly aligned helping my back and my arthritis… this thing I’m going to do? Go to bingo, go to strip club, go and see a theatre show, go out for cocktails and my long-awaited book shopping trip… possibly a tattoo too.

I have to confess I haven’t started writing my second book because the thought of it do you stress me out in the moment and I want to be in the right place so that is it my best work for you guys.

Right now I’m just going to casually blog every now and then. I want to make the writing process phone again and not stressful. I want to go back to being fun and going back to what I write because I think that’s been lost with the success of my blog and my book.

If you’re feeling like me; don’t hold anything, go talk to someone. Don’t let anyone see your tiara slip; you’re not a princess, you’re a motherfucking queen and you can get through this and come out stronger.

Even rainbows need a little rain

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Throwback Thursday: Pastel Princess

Outfit of the day: pastel princess

Skirt: Primark
Vest: Primark
Shoes: Primark
Cardigan: Cery’s Closet.

This is fast becoming a staple outfit in my wardrobe. The mini petticoat gives the modern tule skirt a vintage twist. The shoes are ballerina flats with a lace detail and the cardigan just tops off the outfit with its rose detail, tying in with the pink skirt. Full fringes are great for vintage looks.
If you want you could team with a pearl necklace and earrings to take it from casual to evening.

Self care Sunday tips

  1. Organise your week ahead so you know what you need to deal with – For example personal appointments in blue ink and work related appointments in black
  2. Write yourself a list for every day with things/small tasks you need fo accomplish – using the green, amber and red colour coding system.
    Print out any essential handouts for work or class and make annotations on them ready to bring up at the seminar/meeting
    Decided your outfits ready for the week.
    Shave and wax.
    Get a manicure done
  1. Don a hydrating face mask, then cleanse and moisturerize
  2. Replenish any handbag essentials like a spare cardigan/plasters/makeup/healthy snacks
  3. Lie in a hot bubbly bath, light a few candles/incense and relax with a paperback you’ve been dying to read.
  1. Straighten your hair the night before
  2. Prepare your lunch and breakfast
  3. Listen to positive music
  4. Get an early night
  5. Charge all devices

New skin routine

I’m truly in 💖 with my new weekly/skin routine!! These @garnieruk sheet masks. I then finished off with @poundland witch hazel cleanser along with #porestrips and my @nivea_uk lip balm.

Skin before

The mask is so easy to apply especially for disabled people as they do not need assistance in applying it or taking it off… With no mess!

Hazel is so good all you need a few drops on a cotton pad, work into your face… tadah!!

The pore strips are cool because there’s no messy application and, of course I cannot live with my soft rose Nivea lip balm.

I then put Johnson and Johnson moisturer when my skin flares up (I have severe dermitits)

Marc Jacobs lotions on my hands and finally E45 on my arms, legs and feet.

How to get soft Skin like Annie May in carefree and consequence (Essentially my regime)

What you’ll need

A warm flannel soaked with face wash (I love using Chien by Lidl.)

E45 cream

Marc Jacobs body lotion

Hydrocortisone Cream

A paper face mask if you want (I use the Korean herbal ones on Amazon)

Razor

Femfresh

Body scrub

Clippers

How To:

Have a steaming hot shower using a good body scrub to freshen you up. Steam is very good at opening up your pores.

Make sure you take care of any eyebrow and ‘garden maintenance’ if this a special night. ☺️

Shave legs from ankle to knee – pay no attention to the adverts with smooth thighs (it’s all airbrush)

Shave arms and applying a cream like deodorant such as Mitchum

Scrub your feet with a pumas stone – clip toe nails and finger nails.

Now on to your face

Firstly always use a fresh flannel (even when you wash it after using it, it can still harbour germs.) Apply some warm water and throughly lather the face wash. When washing focus on your T Zones.

Next apply a thick layer of hydrocortisone cream around your cheeks and sides of your face in a circular motion. Apply to any other dry areas such as the forehead or bridge of your nose. Let it soak in for 20 minutes.

Cover your body in E45 cream, giving extra attention to sensitive areas if just been shaved. Focus on hands, elbows and heels – non scented is kinder to skin. Wipe off any excess hydrocortisone cream and swipe a little moisture under under the eyes and under your nose and Cupid’s bow to act as a natural highlighter.

Apply lip balm (I love a tinted one)

Then slather yourself in Marc Jacobs body lotion – apply face mask in the evening for 20 minutes and go to bed feeling spa like pampered.

TIP: A good makeup primer is essential; I recommend MUA hydro gel and a good and Ganier Water