Tag: anxiety

Health update/getting organised

~ Rachel Marie Writer ~ Leave a comment

So as most of you know yesterday afternoon I went to go and see my consultant about the pain in my back and my hips.

My mum is always being you don’t need to take a handbag with you I’ve got everything we need well somebody was happy when I had an array of snacks for her to choose from while we are waiting! Not to mention my kindle. It was like, I was the mother and she was the child!

I felt like I overtook because when we go to receptionist desks and they asked my address they immediately look to my mum instead of me and she uses recites it, not this time.

So me what I should and to see the consultant and basically what she said was that he was happy that my hips were healthy for somebody in their 20s with cerebral palsy who sits down all the time, my mum was worried I need a operation thank goodness that is not happening. and from his point of view he was happy that there was no information of my arthritis in my facet joints…

I explained to him the pain that I was getting was quite severe and that I can only bathe once a week and I will rarely go out after all despite, having a new wheelchair that hasn’t helped with the pain and neither has a new mattress. I was getting a bit frustrated and a bit tearful because I didn’t want him to think that I was making up my pain levels, it’s gotten so bad now that my care company keep track and have been emailing the GP to do something about it. So there was little he can do in his department so, I’ve been referred back to Iona Collins my spinal surgeon from 2016 urgently to see if the disc that hadn’t warranted surgery back then has deteriorated anymore (I have a sneaky suspicion it has, we all know our own bodies)

I’ve also been urgently referred to a pain clinic which in his opinion I should’ve been sent to a long time ago because now this is hard to admit but despite my GPs advice I’ve been topping up my morphine doses When the pain is extremely bad which is also very dangerous but it’s not as if I’m doing it because I want to get high I’m doing it because the levels the doctors prescribe don’t have any affect on my pain. (I only did Oramorph when I absolutely need it because it’s disgusting it tastes like nail vanish remover and I make sure to leave a gap every four hours so it’s not as if I’m swigging it every five minutes) so hopefully they’ll be able to find some medication that will help with the pain and myself and my mum reckons it will most likely be done in pump form.

So now it’s just awaiting game again so whilst there is hope and positive news, there is also despair because I have to manage with painkillers that don’t work in the meantime.

Right now I’m focused on getting organised. I’ve got two years with the bank statements digitally downloaded on my iPad and in separate files in order so that if I should need to send a PDF off it can be easily done. (This file which houses my two bank statement files for the past two years is also password protected – Smart thinking eh?)

Thanks to Mel my PA for my paperwork regarding things like my DLA, car insurance, medical letters it’s all in a nice tidy file with an index so when it comes to filling out forms for student finance it’s easy to find certain pieces of evidence.

Our next big thing is Mel, is now to take me to to appointments instead of my mum which is a big step for me because I like to have my mum with me but that means she has to take time off work so it’s time to put my big girl pants on becauseI need to start doing things without her.

Monday we have two jobs to do in our session; set up a diary to keep track of what we do during social hours, track my appointments, pain levels and important assignment date for when I start my degree at home. I’m also going to ring the housing office to see where I am in regards to getting a flat because it feels like I’ve been waiting years now.

Once we’ve done that, we are planning a trip to IKEA where we going to find some small storage shelves and a small desk ready for me to set my study space/office ready for September. The one thing I won’t be needing? Is stationary. Just a file, my laptop, my printer, dividers and some lined paper and also making sure that I’ve printed out the syllabus for the year and that’s in the front of my fire. We are on the hunt for some nice motivational posters as well – so if anybody can pointing in the direction of some I’d be truly grateful.

In the meantime I’m hoping it’s not a long wait to get some treatment for my pain because this isn’t the life I envisioned for my 20s. Fingers crossed and I’ll remember to keep you updated.

Lots of love

Rach

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Boy learns to walk again after retraining his brain.

~ Rachel Marie Writer ~ Leave a comment

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2624449/Boy-cerebral-palsy-learns-sit-crawl-walk-frame-special-school-helps-retrain-brain.html

Such a lovely story, it popped up on my Facebook timeline and I want to share this with you. This just shows that if you’re willing to give a 110% then you get what you want. I’m also thankful that medical professionals like these exist.

His family must be really proud, because it’s not only his blood, sweat and tears, but theirs too.

My mental health action plan

~ Rachel Marie Writer ~ Leave a comment

As you know I shared a very honest post yesterday about my mental health? Well here’s how I’m going to get better/ be more social:

My carer hit the nail on the head, I associate pain with being out.

The Plan

Monday: Bath Day – A carer will have my car on Monday for two hours where I’ll be able to run errands into town and keep a personal beauty maintenance i.e.: wax legs, gel polish, hair died, eyebrow wax. I’ll then be able to pick up my writing magazine from WHSmith’s as well as my other periodicals like Cosmo, fiction Weekly.

Tuesday: Bed Bath – I have an hour so I’d like to go for a walk and maybe stop at the garden centre for a cup of tea. Book appointments for my eyes, to see the nurse, hair etc.

Wednesday: Bath day– This will be my library day because even though I like to read books on my kindle I still like to go and see what the library will have to offer. Also I’ll be printing out forms I need for my online degree course and filling out my bus pass form and posting them on the same day so I don’t have to rely on my mum. Perhaps I’ll join the evening bookclub and because it’s lighter evenings I can walk home myself.

Thursday: Bath Day – Skills day. I want to learn to cook a basic meal and practise things when I’m living on my own such as folding clothes, washing up, makeup application, hairstyles and pick out my outfits for the week.

Friday: Bed Bath – My ‘day off’ i’ll try and maintain going for an hour walk after lunch. But this day will mainly be relaxing, again chasing appointments and ordering medical supplies, making sure my prescription hasn’t run out. Plus blogging and book stuff

Saturday: Bath Day – Whilst my parents run their usual errands I’ll get in my chair, go for a walk and spend the rest of the day writing down the garden center. Home by 3:30 so carers can put me to bed – mum and dad respite night.

Sunday: make a point of ringing Sue, Roz, Craig. Check in with the girls on Twitter. Do something nice with family instead of watching sport – F1 excluded.

Why have I put my wash days in bold.?

Sometimes I get so down or in pain that I don’t want to bother with a bath, getting dressed or brushing my hair. This motivates me (this will be printed off and put on my bedroom wall and fridge.

Other aims

  • Have a portion of fruit with every meal
  • Have a proper breakfast like cereal or toast
  • Toast isn’t Lunch
  • Remembering to put fuel in van
  • Keeping up with hydrocortisone
  • Try and stay up till at least 8:45pm

This plan is halfway to getting back to my bubbly fifteen year old self before my back got injured – the rest is up to me.

Thank you for all the love and support and even though it feels though your worlds falling a part take a breath and take control.

Thanks for the love and support!

RM.

Don’t be embarrassed to talk about Mental Health, if you need to – go and seek help.

Life in a wheelchair: A summary

~ Rachel Marie Writer ~ Leave a comment

Dear able-bodied people, this is the summary what it’s like to be in a wheelchair and I hope you never find yourself in that situation. But,if you do, be prepared to be the ‘inspiration’ to your friends, even strangers just for doing silly things like; taking a train ride without a ‘caregiver’. Of course you’ll face discrimination but of course ableism too and the list below is just a small insight:

1) When you take your wheelchair for repair, you won’t see it again for 300 years.

2) people immediately use singsong tone of voice when they see a person using wheels.

3) You always have to act grateful for help you didn’t need.

4) A shop isn’t accessible if it’s got a tiny step at the front.

5) People pat your head and bend down to you.

6) Don’t leave your chair in the sun, you’ll burn your bum when you get back in.

7) You will be confronted with the miracle in the alcohol meme and so called friends will find hilarious.

8) You always get the view of people’s behinds.

9) doorways being too small.

10) Ableism and inspirational porn.

At my mentors book signing

On this day my best friend gave me a typewriter; was the day I became a writer

The rest of thee photos show me in my wheelchair in New York City on a visit in 2014

All personal photos ©️ Rachel Marie.

I hope you all enjoyed this post and have learnt something from it. It is so easy to fall into these habits, people in wheelchairs are just people who want to get on with the day, not to necessarily be your inspiration or make you feel good about yourself if someone in a wheelchair is asking for help and doing it for praise or major props with friends and family. You don’t help someone because you feel sorry for them You do it just because you saw another person struggling to get through the day and needs a hand to make it better

You don’t get an instant helo around your head. Be aware of ableism, it can be very patronising and eeven border on bullying help us in the disabled community stamp it out by not doing the things on the above list.

Many thanks,

A Wheelchair user, who is also an author and has Chronic fatigue syndrome but she still remains to be bad ass with her humor and has a wardrobe bursting with vintage clothes… My friends think she has a shopping problem not just the vintage clothes for her on dying love for reading and needing a box to writing my friends think she has a shopping problem not just the vintage clothes for her undying love for reading and and need to buy notebooks to wwrite her short sttories in

By the way, my debut novel, carefree and consequence is available to buy on my blog for which will take you Amazon. The reviews speak for themselves. Available in paperback, hardback large print and, kindle. You don’t actually need a Kindle device to read this book you can just download it from your App Store. Or aask in your local library to order you a copy.

My second project is completing a list of writing prompts and putting them together in an anthology for sale. There are so many genres I can showcase then with this book. You can see my romantic side, you can see my funny side, you can see my spooky side, you can see mmy thriller side and you can see my serious side too. It will be a mixture of poetry and prose and trying to finish it by March 7 2021.

For now, go buy my book and see how you like my romantic side and love for the 1950s

How I combat anxiety

~ Rachel Marie Writer ~ 2 Comments

 

  1. Whenever I get anxious I take ten deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. As you breathe in place your hand on your diaphragm and visualise filling a balloon, as you exhale imagine the balloon deflating.
  2. I tend to listen to music – upbeat songs only.
  3. Writing it downstream of conscious can be very cathartic. Try making a list of things you are grateful for or make a list of your frustrations.
  4. Colouring
  5. Singing (alone!)
  6. Plaiting my hair
  7. Having a hot bath
  8. Talking to someone you trust
  9. Take fewer selfies
  10. Going for a walk.