Relationship advice

    • Take it slowly (unless you’ve known and loved someone for 10 years)
    • Make sure you have common interests and hobbies that you can do together
    • Have patience and understanding
    • Don’t expect it to be like the movies
    • Respect each other’s opinions
    • Make big decisions together
    • Sometimes you’ll want space and that’s
    • healthy.
    • Have good communication and honesty – that’s the solid foundation for your relationship to blossom
    • A relationship will sometimes be like a rollercoaster ride but, if you love each other you’ll hold hands throughout the ride and survive.


    Health update/getting organised

    So as most of you know yesterday afternoon I went to go and see my consultant about the pain in my back and my hips.

    My mum is always being you don’t need to take a handbag with you I’ve got everything we need well somebody was happy when I had an array of snacks for her to choose from while we are waiting! Not to mention my kindle. It was like, I was the mother and she was the child!

    I felt like I overtook because when we go to receptionist desks and they asked my address they immediately look to my mum instead of me and she uses recites it, not this time.

    So me what I should and to see the consultant and basically what she said was that he was happy that my hips were healthy for somebody in their 20s with cerebral palsy who sits down all the time, my mum was worried I need a operation thank goodness that is not happening. and from his point of view he was happy that there was no information of my arthritis in my facet joints…

    I explained to him the pain that I was getting was quite severe and that I can only bathe once a week and I will rarely go out after all despite, having a new wheelchair that hasn’t helped with the pain and neither has a new mattress. I was getting a bit frustrated and a bit tearful because I didn’t want him to think that I was making up my pain levels, it’s gotten so bad now that my care company keep track and have been emailing the GP to do something about it. So there was little he can do in his department so, I’ve been referred back to Iona Collins my spinal surgeon from 2016 urgently to see if the disc that hadn’t warranted surgery back then has deteriorated anymore (I have a sneaky suspicion it has, we all know our own bodies)

    I’ve also been urgently referred to a pain clinic which in his opinion I should’ve been sent to a long time ago because now this is hard to admit but despite my GPs advice I’ve been topping up my morphine doses When the pain is extremely bad which is also very dangerous but it’s not as if I’m doing it because I want to get high I’m doing it because the levels the doctors prescribe don’t have any affect on my pain. (I only did Oramorph when I absolutely need it because it’s disgusting it tastes like nail vanish remover and I make sure to leave a gap every four hours so it’s not as if I’m swigging it every five minutes) so hopefully they’ll be able to find some medication that will help with the pain and myself and my mum reckons it will most likely be done in pump form.

    So now it’s just awaiting game again so whilst there is hope and positive news, there is also despair because I have to manage with painkillers that don’t work in the meantime.

    Right now I’m focused on getting organised. I’ve got two years with the bank statements digitally downloaded on my iPad and in separate files in order so that if I should need to send a PDF off it can be easily done. (This file which houses my two bank statement files for the past two years is also password protected – Smart thinking eh?)

    Thanks to Mel my PA for my paperwork regarding things like my DLA, car insurance, medical letters it’s all in a nice tidy file with an index so when it comes to filling out forms for student finance it’s easy to find certain pieces of evidence.

    Our next big thing is Mel, is now to take me to to appointments instead of my mum which is a big step for me because I like to have my mum with me but that means she has to take time off work so it’s time to put my big girl pants on becauseI need to start doing things without her.

    Monday we have two jobs to do in our session; set up a diary to keep track of what we do during social hours, track my appointments, pain levels and important assignment date for when I start my degree at home. I’m also going to ring the housing office to see where I am in regards to getting a flat because it feels like I’ve been waiting years now.

    Once we’ve done that, we are planning a trip to IKEA where we going to find some small storage shelves and a small desk ready for me to set my study space/office ready for September. The one thing I won’t be needing? Is stationary. Just a file, my laptop, my printer, dividers and some lined paper and also making sure that I’ve printed out the syllabus for the year and that’s in the front of my fire. We are on the hunt for some nice motivational posters as well – so if anybody can pointing in the direction of some I’d be truly grateful.

    In the meantime I’m hoping it’s not a long wait to get some treatment for my pain because this isn’t the life I envisioned for my 20s. Fingers crossed and I’ll remember to keep you updated.

    Lots of love


    My Mental Health Journey/Advice

    I was inspired by a thread on twitter where people were brave enough to share their mental health journeys and so I decided to share mine with you.

    In 2014 was when it got really bad, I think the trigger was that my health was deteriorating and I felt that the doctors weren’t listening to me because I knew there was something wrong with my back, I kept being fobbed off. I was also being badly bullied. (I couldn’t say anything because it would have made things awkward, looking back I wish I did.)

    I started not caring about my school work, wanting to eat and sleep all the time and just feeling black. I felt like I was a burden to everyone. It didn’t help that my chosen career path had been blocked by a teacher. It was the last straw. It just all started crumbling down around me. I suddenly began feeling that I wasn’t good enough.

    So I went to my GP and have been on Prozac ever since. Even now when I’m a 1000 times better then I was, I can’t get out of bed without it. I also found counselling helped me find coping mechanisms like blogging, I realised during my sessions that I’d locked a lot away and buried it deep and facing it was the only way to win.

    No I’m not cured and yes sometimes I do get overwhelmed and fed up but, sometimes you need to be the hero in your own story and to want to be better. Yes, I’m finding things tough at the moment but they will pass. I found that I had to remove myself from toxic situations and friendships to get better and to trust that this is part of my journey in life.

    I now live by the quote:

    If you don’t deserve me during my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. – Marilyn Monroe.

    This Christmas will be a very anxious time for some of you and I am here if you ever need to blow off some steam. It sounds corny but it will get better. Depression isn’t something you can ‘snap out of’, it’s something you need to learn to live alongside with and accept that there will be bad days but, you’ll have amazing ones too.

    Make 2019 the year of positivity and taking care of you.

    For example, I vow to start eating properly even when I’m in pain, to go out more and not lock myself away and to say ‘No’ to things that I don’t want rather than letting people walk over me or answer for me.

    What do you pledge for in 2019? Let me know below!