Poetry: Love Language

Write a response text using love language

Our bodies arch and writhe together

In a dance that only we know.

Our moans of passion are

A songs where we only

Know the melody.

You know every dip and

Curve in my body, and

love without fail.

I could be ice cold

and at your touch

I burn with a delightful fever.

In my eyes, you

are my universe

In your eyes I’m your

Galaxy. The stars

aligned when we met

joining with the planets in

perfect harmony.

It proves we are fate

This is meant to be.

We may not always

get it right but, my kisses

feel at home on your

lips and my body

belongs in your arms.

We may sometimes fit

square peg in a round hole.

but I know you’re my missing

puzzle piece and we fit perfectly

Commentary

For this task my source text was “Since Feeling is First” by E E Cummings and I was tasked with writing a response text reflecting on similar themes and styles.

Like Cummings I chose to respond with a piece of poetry based on my relationship with my year long partner. I also emulated Cummings technique of writing in five to six line stanzas and also not using capital letters as Cummings does suggesting it is the poetic meaning that is important not the rules in writing. It’s almost written in the haste of a world wind romance. I chose to write in the second person as it makes a connection with the reader. I chose the metaphor of dance to represent sexual intercourse as it is a very intimate thing between two people. The imagery like Cummings presents almost a story line in the poem. I also involved the senses in my poem to resonate the intimate things that couples know of each other for example the smell of their skin and curves of their bodies. Also the idea of heat is used quite a lot in romantic poetry to represent passion and in this case I decided to write it as a delightful fever something which is quite uncomfortable and painful but at the same time pleasurable. I also chose the metaphors of songs for the passionate moment of the couple because to each couple this is a song that only they know. My third stanza deals with space and time and harmony taking inspiration from the phrase “stars in their eyes” and that the planets represent the traits of the person which marry the other as with the ideal couple you expect them to be and the same person. I next chose to add in a volta like Cummings at the end of his poem so that I could shift the focus of the poem from the sensual loving relationship to the fact it isn’t always smooth sailing. It comes from the phrase “putting a square peg in a round hole” meaning that you want something to fit but sometimes it doesn’t. I think it’s important in poetry to highlight the struggles of the couple as sometimes poetry can give the misconception that romance is all hearts and flowers, this is what Cummings conveys in this line “lady I swear by all flowers don’t cry”. The idea of approval comes across in my poem during the stars in his eyes stanza where he desperately wants to be each other’s everything. I took inspiration from the line “my blood approves” and that’s why I tried to convey the sensual pleasure which hormones give during intercourse and how you desperately want to be accepted by each other. The words perfectly and delightful convey the overall romantic lexis of the poem and thats why I chose these superlatives. I considered my piece to be a success and was definitely written for a mature audience but overall hit the key themes and ideas conveyed in the source text thus hitting the brief.

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Conflict poem

Instead of having fires of passion

They have been replaced by fires of anger.

Instead of you murmuring sweet things to me,

they have been replaced with spite and bitterness.

Instead of you being next to me,

There is a vast space

and it’s not just the stretch of a hand

but, it is everything.

Kisses have been

replaced by tears and

concrete walls now guard us

from each other instead of the

the home we once lived.

Eyes are the window to

the soul but, my

shutters have come down

so that you cannot see my broken heart.

You promise you’ll

change but you never do

all that changes are my bruises

you give,

from black to blue.

Why I am I still here?

Well, isn’t it true, if

Belle can love a princely beast,

can’t I learn to love you too?

The man I loved is not who you are,

he’s trapped inside your angry heart.

So, I will love

the beast, till death

do us part

so there’s a chance my prince will

come.

Poem: A New Chapter

So, the last chapter has finished

A new one is to begin.

I feel anxious as I turn the page,

What’s to happen in this chapter?

Will it turn out alright?

Well, that’s up to me

This is my life.

I want to live in the movement and

Do extraordinary things

And not hide away as I’ve

Done before.

This isn’t just a new chapter but a
Fresh start.

This is my story

And

This is my wonderful life,